just-laff: egberts: if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket you are one of the great thinkers of our time
peregrin-fool-of-a-took: 221bec: “so how’s your fandom doing?” it doesn’t even matter what fandom they meant; this applies to all of them.
kk-frowning: piercethesleepingcarlile: chxshire: i’m that friend that has to walk behind the others when the sidewalk doesn’t fit a group of three I think about this post a lot I have said this since sixth grade. This is a true sign of where you stand in a friendship.
damonallbran: preliminaires: neugenics: badafro: ohmygustavsson: pregnancy begins when you look at a boy pregnancy begins when you hear the word boy pregnancy begins the dark pregnancy the dark pregnancy rises
Laundry just out of the dryer
rapedbyrapture: It is your wedding day, you have waited for this moment all of your life. The ceremony begins, and as you watch your bride-to-be begin her walk down the isle, the music begins… KISS KISS, FALL IN LOVE.
cosmo sex tip #669
allaboardthekevintran: when you grab his shaft, yell “pull the lever kronk”
fasterfood: half of me wants to be a really physically active person but the other half of me is like “nah son” and how can I argue with that
mermaidsandmisandry: things i dont need in my life: wasps those stringy things on the banana commercials on youtube
Me half-way through shaving one leg: I dont want to do this anymore
geometricdeathtrap: metallikato: generallegendary: metallikato: jewelstaites: how to give a good handjob bop it pull it twist it harder better faster stronger You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about! Cha cha real smooth none of you ever touch a penis
bean-alchemist: swexan: libraryshalalala: 50shadesofbellamy: I’d just like to point out that 50 Shades of Grey was Twilight fanfic and Twilight was inspired by Muse so when you think about it, it’s kinda because of Muse that 50 Shades was written in the first place oh And Muse came from England which traces its roots back to the Anglo-Saxons and Romans, so really, in the end, Julius...
grantaire-dont-care: dancing queen young and sweet only sewenteen
nayx: THE GAY PEOPLE ARE COMING RAISE THE VAGINA WALLS *enormous stone walls with vaginas painted onto them rise up from the grounds. the gay people instantly retreat in a choreographed dance number*
yuppadupp: thewholockgames: districteverthorne: what if someone wrote a book and the plot was basically amazing and the characters were awesome and at the end of the book, you’re dying to know what happens, all you see is a ripped page and the author actually did it on purpose and you’ll never know what happens because all the other published copies are like that too calm down satan Time...
Plot Twist: Stark Industries buys Tumblr. We all get free issue laptops with fantastic WiFi.
dt-rex: jaredhower: my problem isn’t that my favorite fictional characters aren’t real, it’s that i’m not fictional Why is this so fucking accurate
Fun fact I knew this girl from camp who had a British accent but she wasn’t from England and then one day I went to her house and her parents didn’t have a British accent either so I asked her where she got it from because I was really confused and she told me her parents faked it until she was 7 because they wanted a child with a British accent